Archive | August, 2012

Balance Your Brain, Balance Your Reality

30 Aug

Segment 1: The Left Brain and Conflict.

Everything in the human experience begins in the brain, including war, conflict and peace. Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show, who will discuss this theory, is James Olson. James is a management-trained philosopher whose studies have included business, engineering, art, Eastern and Western religion, yoga, qigong, psychology, language, neuro-linguistics, philosophy and brain perspective. His book, The Whole Brain Path to Peace, argues that the hemispheric nature of our brains account for much of the conflict and peace in our world. His website is www.thewholebrainpath.com.

 

James’ personal journey started out as a farmer on the family farm. During the winters he had time to study a wide range of interests and he came up with a very holistic view of the world. When he realized he was left brain dominate he set out to determine what that meant and how it dictated his perception of reality. The two sides of the brain both feed us info. We take information from one side and information from the other side and integrate them to come up with our own personal perspective. James researched the left brain versus right brain and found that that left brain disassembles and deconstructs, while the right brain puts things together and assembles things. The left brain, if left untempered by the wisdom of the right brain, can get us into trouble and cause conflict.

 

Segment 2: Mixing Oil and Water.

Upbringing has a great deal to do with attitude and world perception. We are heavily affected not only by the dominant side of our brain but also by our environment. If someone has a dominate right brain but is never taught how to think critically, they will not have a balanced view of the world and will not use “whole brain” thinking. We have a dualistic set-up within the brain. Trying to mix the left brain’s polar ideas with the right brain’s non-polar ideas is like mixing oil and water. The left brain tends to be skeptical and cautious and controlling. It can be resistant to working with right brain.

 

Segment 3: Smart Phones Versus Brains.

The secret is to begin using our non-dominant brain more — the side/perspective that has been neglected. To retrain our own brains and to reactive the non-dominant side, just understand different perspectives and different options. If you don’t know what your brain is capable of doing, you can’t access it. We know more about accessing our smart phones than we do about our own brains. The better we understand it, the better we use it. Meditation helps as well. Meditation shuts off the left brain and brings us into our right brain. This helps us see more holistically and make better decisions.

 

Segment 4: Understanding the Dualistic System and Finding Peace.

James has found most males are left brain dominant and most women are right brain dominant. There is a biological basis for sexual orientation. If we understand what’s going on in our brain we can find peace with a situation. If we don’t understand the dualistic system of our brain it can cause conflict and war-like behavior.

 

To listen to the complete interview:

 

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Helping to Create Peace One Person at a Time

30 Aug

As I prepare a speech about peacemaking and my personal journey from lawyer-to-peacemaker for Concordia University in Portland Oregon September 13, I am aware that most of us don’t understand why the one thing we strive for–peace, is so difficult to achieve. In this culture, the focus is on winning and being the best. We are a nation of sports lovers. When someone wins, someone else loses, and we applaud and honor the winners. But, resolving conflict is not a sport. Resolving conflict involves honoring the process and giving both “sides” dignity, respect and an ear. There is a way, a win-win opportunity for every conflict we find ourselves in. To achieve this, we need a different set of skills. That is what, as a peacemaker and mediator, I teach others to do. Peace is possible.
http://www.elusivepeace.com

Helping to Create Peace One Person at a Time

30 Aug

The Peacemaking Parent: It Starts at Home

29 Aug

Segment 1: Secrets of the Peacemaking Parent

Lorraine Esposito, our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show, is no stranger to peacemaking. She is a life and fitness coach and the nationally recognized author of The Peacemaker Parent, Solving Problems for Today, Teaching Independence for a Lifetime. Lorraine has been featured in broadcast, radio, print, and online media and is a public speaker regarding personal leadership to community and school-based audiences. Her website is www.peacemakerparent.com.

 

Lorraine’s personal journey as a peacemaking parent began at home with her young sons, then 6 and 8. In the process of exploring how to achieve a peaceful home, she discovered a method that instilled responsibility and accountability within her children and fostered peacemaking organically. She had tried different methods, including various books and counseling programs, but nothing worked for their family. The feeling of power, control and responsibility was lacking.

 

Lorraine says the secret to a peaceful home is belief and trust. Belief that the inner voice you have as a parent is actually truth. Trust in your children and that they are all that they need to be. When we are able to believe, trust and let go, our kids begin to show their greatness and choose wisely.

 

Segment 2: The Need for Perfection

Parents’ self-esteem is too often wrapped around their own children. The need for perfection is layered on top of peer pressure and the hype about getting a good education and being successful, etc. The smallest mistake triggers fear in parents, overwhelms them, and blocks good judgment. The first step to overcoming these issues is for the parent to look at their own environment and at themselves as individuals. Then the parent can observe what’s happening (without judgment or criticism) and see what’s working and not working. The underlying issues become apparent when we detach ourselves and observe with non-reactivity and non-judgment.

 

Segment 3: The Sacred Space

Lorraine started with a morning peacemaking program in her own home. She held a meeting with her children and empowered them to make decisions. The meeting was a safe, sacred space. When they all agreed on the rules they moved forward, but if they didn’t agree they stayed put until they did. As a family they established 7 things to do in the morning. The boys monitored themselves with parameters and framework and became confident all on their own without mom’s nagging. The consequences to not getting tasks done were natural. They took personal responsibility and dealt with the consequences.

 

*Sacred space with equality

*Consensus decision making

*Building in accountability

*Natural consequences

 

Segment 4: Personal Responsibility and Ownership

Lorraine finds when parents try her peacemaking approach that decisions that seemed difficult become easier to make. They are able to let go of things that aren’t serving them. Parents become happier, there’s not as much fighting, there’s more acceptance and forgiveness. Additionally, taking personal responsibility and ownership can help kids with scholastic achievement by fostering personal motivation. Good leaders can’t command or control anybody; good leaders inspire people, which leads to self-motivation.

 

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Spaeker for Universities & Organizations teaching Peace as a Pathway

27 Aug

As a speaker for organizations and universities, I find that audiences are committed to learning the principles of peace and how to apply these to their personal lives, relationships, children, community, and with an understanding of these concepts will vote with more education about what it takes to live peacefully. I invite you to read my book Elusive Peace. This book will teach you why we haven’t achieved the peace we want, but it will give you hope that it is possible with skills, knowledge and strategies applied! Elusive Peace can be ordered from Amazon is on Kindle. Find out what audiences around the world are learning.
http://www.elusivepeace.com

Spaeker for Universities & Organizations teaching Peace as a Pathway

27 Aug

Inter-Tribal Conflict and Restorative Justice in Kenya

26 Aug

Segment 1: The Village Gathering

Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show is Paula Langguth Ryan, principal mediator at Compassionate Mediators, LLC, and a member of ACR’s Elder Decision-Making and Conflict Resolution Section. We will discuss her work with The Village Gathering, which focuses on sustainable restorative justice mediation in Kenya. Paula’s latest book (among many) is the forthcoming Ryan’s Rules of Order: A Clear and Compassionate Process for Minimizing Conflict and Keeping Any Meeting on Track. Her website is www.paulalangguthryan.com.

 

Segment 2: One Tribe

As a middle child growing up, Paula felt an innate connection to peacemaking. Her professional peacekeeping work in Kenya begin right after the Kenyan election crisis in 2008. Paula was asked to go to Kenya to lead a pastoral conference for a week, but found that her work would not resonate unless the prevalent inter-tribal conflict was first addressed. At that point she knew nothing about restorative justice, but with help from other mediators, as well as a former warrior (now a self-taught peacemaker) named Lantano, the tribes literally ended up “breaking bread” together. Lantano reiterated a new message: we are ONE tribe. We’re Kenyans.

 

Paula’s 2nd trip was in 2010 for two weeks. Again she met with members of a small tribe (1 of 13 tribes) about inter-tribal conflict. She watched Lantano, who had no formal training as a mediator or peacemaker, go to speak with the mothers of the fighting warriors as well as the elders of the tribes and successfully bring the members of the tribes together for a communal meal.

 

Segment 3: A Reconciliation Meal

Lantano, the young warrior turned peacemaker, organized a reconciliation communal meal. The meat was braided, and there is a tradition in Kenya that says if you have shared a piece of meat together you can no longer be enemies. At this communal meal the tribal warriors cut meat for each other and fed one another. Every warrior bit from a single piece of meat.

 

Segment 4: The Kenya Solution

Paula believes the solutions for Kenya’s problems have to come from Kenya. The Kenyan people know what the underlying fears are and how to address them. They want to solve their own problems. There is a deep authenticity when one has truly experienced war, and this authenticity stems credibility within the tribes. Professional mediators can provide support, coaching, training, and funds, but fundamentally they can’t be the peacemakers in Kenya. Only the Kenyans can.

 

To listen to the full interview:

 

Segment 1

Segment 2

Segment 3

Segment 4